


Mr Loverman

by Cur



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Canon Divergent, F/M, Grieving, Hurt/Comfort, Jason dies, M/M, but percy loves him, former percabeth - Freeform, jercy - Freeform, percy pov, referenced pipabeth, they r so cute sigh, this is projection but mind ur business
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26893192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cur/pseuds/Cur
Summary: Percy Jackson has a tendency of screwing things up, but he’s determined not to fail Jason like he did Annabeth.Lucky for him, he has all of the time in the world after all he’s endured.Right?
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Jason Grace/Percy Jackson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 71





	Mr Loverman

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this back in july and the ending of all of pjo has made me feel a little nostalgic so . here <3

Agreeing to do this quest had been an act of pure impulse and, as usual, stupidity. Actually, in the moment, it hadn’t seemed like he had much of a choice. Now? He’s replaying the conversation a million times over in his head, each time with a new way in which Percy declines ever going. Endangering his life isn’t even the worst part; he and Jason weren’t in the greatest of places given their fight last night… if you could call it that (you couldn’t). It was basically Jason just trying to do his usual task in helping Percy out, and the stupid and selfish son of Poseidon lashing out. To put it kindly, Percy basically called their relationship a lie and told Jason to stop playing hero and boyfriend. Cool, right? Obviously, it’s all of Percy’s stupid fault -- yet again. Who could have guessed it? Now he’s 0 for 2 for handling relationships. Apparently he’s too distant and too clingy. Well, he’s pretty talented when it comes to being a screw up. Why not do the impossible?

Regardless, his hands are getting sweaty on the steering wheel, and he can feel Jason passive aggressively staring ahead. The silence is tense, and even the sound of the wind and distant echo of the radio doesn’t do much to fill it. They’ve been on the Interstate highway for what feels like days, and not a word has been spoken between them. Jason will break the silence. Right? Maybe a “I have to pee” or “do you want to take a break?”. Something. _Anything_. Percy’s eyes stray from the almost empty road over to his boyfriend. Okay, so maybe he had been wrong; Jason’s eyes are closed, his arms are crossed protectively on top of his chest, and his breathing is slowed. Oh my gods. He’s asleep. Cool! So maybe he isn’t that angry with Percy or maybe he isn’t even giving him the full silent treatment. Thank the gods. Hysteric from perhaps sleep deprivation and stress combined, the awake demigod began to laugh, overcoming the silence, and, unbeknownst to him, wake up Jason. Amidst his strange laughter, he looks over at Jason to find him squinting at him confused and half awake. Naturally, Percy yelps in surprise.

“What’s funny?” The son of Jupiter practically grumbles. It’s almost funny; he kinda looks like a disgruntled old man. Percy keeps his smile in spite of himself. “Was I snoring?”⠀

Percy opens his mouth to speak, but his mind painfully reminds him of the events of the night prior. The smile on his face fades, and he shrugs. “No, I just... Nothing. You should get some more rest. We’ll be there soon.”

Like last night, he can feel the blond’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t dare look back, even when heat rises to his cheeks. Fuck. Is he still messing this up? That’s the problem with Jason; he didn’t grow up alongside him, and it’s harder to read what he wants and what he feels. It kinda drives Percy a little crazy, but almost spitefully, he fell in love with Jason anyway. _Fuck_. Gods, he wishes he could turn off his emotions or drown them. Unfortunately, he’s learned the hard way life didn’t and doesn’t work like that. Kissing through the problems doesn’t do much either, especially in this particular case. Fucking Jason Grace. It’s hard to swallow down the thudding of his heart when he smiles his stupid smile or kisses him softly like they had all of the time in the world. Maybe they did. Percy dares to flicker over his green eyes on Jason, of whom seemed focused on the view out his window. They had all of the time in the world, didn’t they? Right. Percy’s only 17, he doesn’t need to have a mastery of all of his emotions yet, nor did he need to confess right then and there. After saving the world, they had to have /some/ time at least. This time, when Jason turns to stare at him, Percy smiles with some reassurance.

They arrive in Syracuse about a half an hour later. Chiron had booked them a room at the Crowne Hotel and, as expected, they got two twin size beds. Buzzkill. Well, they’d be lucky to be at the hotel for that long anyway; the plan involved going to some isolated plain nearby and waiting for monsters to show up, hungry to eat some more demigod kids. It’s almost suspicious how quickly the monsters were finding the demigods nowadays, especially those who should have no idea about their godly identities. This quest is somewhat vague (his favorite) but at the same time, unnervingly specific. Well, maybe it’s just because Percy had become used to quests during wars. Monster hunting could be what is considered normal. It’s certainly hard adjusting to a life it seems like everyone but him had lived. That’s not true, though, is it? Plenty of half-bloods had lived only during times of war and were struggling to find a sense of normal in an abnormal world too. Gods, Percy sure could be a self-involved asshole.

He wonders if Jason was used to monster hunting at all, or, overall, what his definition of normal had been. Clearly, he’s trying to change that up, given how unhappy he had been as a Roman. The guy doesn’t talk much about his Roman life without encouragement, and Percy’s happy to respect it. To be fair, Percy tries to avoid talking about his own issues too. Maybe them both staying silent on their traumas isn’t a good thing, but, hey, it’s not like talking about every issue magically fixed anything -- and neither of them were exactly certified therapists. They were in a relationship of sorts to have fun, right? Obviously, they liked each other, but Percy had never considered them in the long term until just recently. Honestly, part of him had been convinced as soon as Annabeth felt Percy was “better’, they’d get back together and they’d live happily ever after. Needless to say, he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. This thing with Jason could be _it._ Everything he had felt with Annabeth he feels with Jason now, except for that guilt neither of them could ever get over. How could they? Everything felt like Percy’s fault, what with his guilt and her stubborn pride. Jason’s different, and for so long, Percy thought different could never define as what it is now.

What _is_ it now? It’s admitting there’s a problem before discarding it. It’s kissing in the morning and holding hands whenever they could. It’s Jason’s wide grin and his kind and startling blue eyes. It’s Percy’s heart pounding frantically in his chest as Jason asks him “do you trust me?” It’s love, and despite what Percy said earlier, the relationship is real -- very, incredibly, amazingly _real_.

Great. _So what_?

Unfortunately, in Percy’s experience, life isn’t a romantic comedy with a sprinkle of angst. It tended to be more of a pit of crap, but when you dig yourself out, there’s even more crap for you to deal with then. After the second Giant War -- Hades, after the freakin’ /Titan/ War, Percy and Annabeth were supposed to have peaceful lives with each other. Unfortunately, shit lingers. Apparently going into a coma and wandering around California had changed Percy, and Annabeth couldn’t get used to them. His love had been suffocating, and she had explained that it felt like he was overcompensating for something. Bitterly (and stupidly), he accused her of giving up on them and him and he had grown tired of filling in the many gaps of their relationship. They broke up, but it took Percy like two months to register it was and is real. Jason and Percy bonded and their relationship blossomed, and three months later, they’re in a fun and ominous field in Syracuse, New York, waiting out a monster.

Percy can’t lose Jason too.

Obviously, the breakup with Annabeth had been his fault. Confessing his love to Jason after a tense conversation felt like overcompensating or an empty apology, and Percy doesn’t intend on filling in more gaps in a dead relationship. For now, at least, he’ll bite his tongue. Who knows? Maybe he’ll get lucky and stop being in love with his stupid boyfriend. That’s probably Percy’s stupid problem; things were getting serious and real, and if they kept going down this road, he’d have to start acknowledging serious and real things. Can’t he just be an oblivious teenager with his biggest problem being the SAT?⠀

Apparently not. The two pace around the field, Jason tense, and Percy casually swinging around Riptide. “Maybe someone else killed it,” the older suggests, after an hour of awkward silence.⠀

“Maybe.”

Ugh. Roman semi-silent treatment is the _worst_. Why does Percy have to be the mature one? He’s kinda known for his stupidity and immaturity. “Jason, man, I’m sorry about earlier.” Jason stops his pacing and stares at Percy. Through the darkness, his blue eyes seem to be glowing. Creepy, but also kinda hot? “I… I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I-- Look out!”

Before Jason has time to react, the ground below him cracks open, and an earthy hand behind him pulls him down. “No!” Percy reaches out towards the nearby sea, but rather than being strengthened by it, he feels his knees buckle without his consent and his head swims. That’s impossible.

Luckily, Jason’s on his feet -- or, uh, flying pretty quickly. Percy forces himself up despite his weakened state and lunges at the hand with Riptide and slices through it. “One of yours?” Percy yells up at Jason. Jason looks just as confused as Percy felt.

“I feel as though I should thank you,” a familiar voice booms through the field as the ground breaks open further. “You’ve set me free twice now, Perseus. You had Poseidon kill me, but…” Percy staggers backwards, his blood cold with terror. Typhon emerges, looking just as snake-y as he had back during the Titan War. That explains why he couldn’t control the water so easily.

“How are you alive?” Percy demands, gritting his teeth. “The Doors of Death closed before you had a chance to reform. The seal on Mount Etna was restored!”

Typhon snaps his neck to the side, and the breeze around them becomes a harsh wind. Fucker. “You’ll recall I left behind some ventis. With them and the help of my mother, I rested on the cusp of your realm.” Percy’s grip on Riptide tightens until his knuckles are white, but his hands still tremble. “I will kill all demigods, and make you watch, Perseus. I’ll make you beg to be put out of your misery or even sent back to Tartarus, but, mark my words, you will suffer as I have!” So much for thanking him. Without much thinking, Percy lunges at the Giant, but he easily smacks Percy down to the ground. He can hear Jason yell out, and an instant after, a lightning bolt pierces through Typhon.

Unfortunately, it only dazes him for a moment. With disturbing ease, Typhon manipulates the wind and soon squeezes Jason in his snake hands. No. Percy shakily pushes himself off the ground and reaches out his hands. The sea refuses to obey, so he pulls even harder, at both the power resting in his stomach and the nearby poisoned lake. Something within Percy snaps -- no, _breaks -_ \- and everything goes black.

For a moment, anyway.

After all of the nightmares, all of the sinks and pipes exploding, all of the deaths, Percy Jackson is sick of being out of control. When they had first beat Typhon, Poseidon had opened the ground to Tartarus. Why couldn’t he? So he does. The water breaks through the ground with ease and it all slams into Typhon. The pit is deep and, despite having no control over the winds, he can feel the air compelling anything in its path to be pulled in. The drop to Tartarus is somewhat like a black hole, and, unfortunately, Percy is more than familiar with them. Lucky for him, _he_ isn’t the one getting sent back down.

Jason drops on the ground, but for the time being, Percy doesn’t care. He’s in control, and he won’t let anyone hurt his loved ones again. He won’t watch because of his stupid loyalty and let everyone sacrifice besides him. The water pushes Typhon back, and he can feel the wind slam into his back, but he somehow manages to stay upright. Well, he couldn’t let that happen again. With the force of the poisoned water, he pushes the Giant’s arms back and lets out a pretty feral roar before dissolving into manic laughter. He isn’t sure who it scares more: Typhon or himself.

“How does it feel?” He yells at Typhon. “Do you feel out of your element? Your own water is against you.” Percy begins to suffocate him just as his heels begin to reach the edge of the pit to Tartarus. “The sea is my birth right! Suffering in Tartarus is your destiny. You won’t ever have control here or power ever again. I’m in control! Not you!” By all means, he could easily shove the struggling Typhon into Tartarus, but, gods, he deserves to suffer first, doesn’t he? He killed kids, he hurt Jason, and Percy’s tired of being the one who suffers. Doesn’t he _deserve_ \--

“Percy, you can stop now,” Jason’s soft voice comes. _Oh_.

Reality crashes into him just as Jason pushes the Giant down the pit with the wind. **_Oh_**. How could he have let that happen again? Percy’s sore arm drops, and he feels his body start to sag with exhaustion. Jason catches him, and pulls him into a warm embrace. Percy can’t believe it. How could he hug him? How could he bear to be near him? The hug doesn’t cease, so, shakily, Percy returns it, his hands balling up Jason’s camp shirt. Tears fall out his eyes, and albeit he desperately wants to stop, they keep falling out and Jason only holds him tighter. “I’m sorry,” he blubbers out between sobs. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Jason only shushes him, and Percy feels the warmth of a kiss against his ear. “You’re okay,” the blond whispers after Percy’s millionth apology. “Let’s go back to the hotel, okay? You have to be exhausted.” Calmed down quite a bit, the son of Poseidon pulls away and huffs out. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone the Great Percy Jackson cried.”

Pathetically, he laughs at the attempt of a joke. Jason smiles back at him. “Sorry about that, man. I don’t know what that was.” He isn’t sure if he’s lying or not. “I just… I can’t…” Percy swallows down another sob. “I can’t lose you.”

Sympathetically, Jason makes an “aw” noise before giving Percy a quick kiss on the cheek. Percy sends him a dramatically pathetic look, so Jason leans back in to kiss him oh so softly on the lips. Nice. “Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me, Jackson. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

Jason nods with a grin. “Promise.”

* * *

Two months later, Annabeth calls letting him know that Jason’s dead. So much for all of the time in the world. Jason had gone off the boarding school not long after the quest, but both worked well alongside of the long distance. Something felt… _off_ for so long, but Percy had blamed it on his pessimism. With Jason, he had allowed himself to feel and be optimistic. What an idiot.

The funeral sucks. Piper gives the eulogy, clearly cold with guilt of breaking up with Jason. Percy and Jason had decided to admit their relationship once the school year was over, but, apparently, that isn’t an option anymore. What a stupid break-up.

Jason’s body is burned under a beautiful shroud made by Camp Jupiter, but it all remains to be surreal. He can’t be gone, right? Jason wouldn’t have done that to them, not when they had a Facetime date this weekend. His throat feels like it’s on fire as he watches the smoke go up into the sky, and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t swallow the pain away. So, he tries breathing through it, but that just encourages his tears. Fuck.

A hand slides into his, and as he looks over, he sees Piper. Oh, fuck. Percy swallows harshly before saying, “You know, I was half thinking his dad was going to make him into a tree. Maybe Pine.” Piper laughs, but the sound is hollow. Yikes.⠀

“He’s a cloud, at least,” Piper says lamely, and the two share a broken laugh. Yeah, that’s not really all that funny, but to be fair, they’re both currently emotionally stunted. “I still can’t believe he’s- he’s gone.” To that, a tear falls out of Percy’s eye, but he hastily wipes it away before Piper can react. “I know you guys started to be friends.”

Percy shakes his head. “Yeah, we got along fine. He was a great guy.” The use of ‘was’ doesn’t make him feel all that great. “Look, Piper, if you need anything, call me. Please. I know shit’s not fun for you right now.” She raises her eyebrows like ‘you could say that again’. “What’s your plan after this? Still going with your dad?’

She shrugs and grabs onto his arm like it’s a hug. “Yeah, I have to at least help him get settled, but… I have to complete what Jason was doing. Annabeth’s already spiraling into work. Gotta keep her steady. Have you seen her?” Percy shakes his head. “I know you guys broke up, but… maybe you should check in. You don’t have to, but--”

“I got you, Piper. I think I can handle a little bit of a crazy ex-girlfriend.”

—

He should’ve knocked on wood. Annabeth’s grey eyes are as exhausted and distracted as he’s ever seen them, and the table in the Minerva shrine is covered in blueprints Percy won’t bother to try to understand. Still, he whistles in surprise, and Annabeth only temporarily lifts up her head to check who it is. “I’m busy, Percy,” she says dismissively.

Okay, guess they’ll be skipping the pleasantries. So be it. “You need a break.”

“No, I don’t. I have to fill in the blanks of Jason’s work. He’s a fucker for dying while we were in the middle of this.” She slams down a notebook onto the table, making him jump. “What do you want, Seaweed Brain?”

Great. He had to trick her into taking care of herself. “I wanted to see how you were holding up, but I guess I don’t even have to ask. Have you eaten? New Rome’s got some good sandwiches.” She rolls her eyes. Success! “How do you even know what’s going on? This table’s a mess.” Fearing no god apparently, Percy picks up one of her blueprints.

As expected, she runs over and yanks it out of his hands. “Don’t touch that!” Percy grabs her by the wrist gently, and starts to drag her out, but she grabs him back and flings him into a classic judo flip. Kay. He should’ve seen that coming. He groans as she presses her forearm against his neck. “Piper sent you, didn’t she?” Percy raises his eyebrows in response. She groans angrily. “Bitch. I told her to stop bothering me.” Naturally, he sends her a dubious look. “What do you want me to say? Her ex-boyfriend died. What am I supposed to do?” She sounds like she’s half-hoping him to give him the answers.

“Ew. So this is sexually frustrated work?” She hits him against the head. He might’ve deserved that. “And guilt-slash-grief work,” he adds helpfully. “Take a break. You work better with a clear head, and Jason deserves that.”

“Don’t pull that card,” she retorts, with surprisingly softness.

Percy gingerly pushes her arm away from his neck and sits up slightly until she gets off of him. “You know I’m right. Go get a sammy and go talk to your girlfriend.” Annabeth’s face gets really red, confirming his suspicions again. “I promise I won’t touch anything.”

The daughter of Athena doesn’t seem all of that excited, but she stands up and offers a hand to help pull up Percy. He’s barely on his feet before she goes, “Fine, but… I know.” ⠀

Ominous. Percy sends her a funny look. “You know? Is this like a vague daughter of Athena flex?”

With an irritated sigh, Annabeth shakes her head. “I know that you and Jason were dating.” Percy’s head starts playing _very_ loud circus music. “I won’t tell anyone, but… that notebook over there? The blue one? It’s Jason’s. You should… you should read the last couple of pages. But I…” She looks ready to punch him (as usual). To his surprise, she pulls him into an embrace. Her breath is heavy and almost ragged, and he can almost feel her starting to cry. Instinctively, he kisses the top of her head. Idiot. Blessedly, she doesn’t seem to mind. Geez, the hug is so… familiar, he could almost cry. None of this feels familiar, and although they’ve broken up, it’s nice to get the hint that she’s there for him — even if they aren’t what they used to be. She pulls back, her grey eyes hazy and kisses his cheek warmly. “I’ll see you later, Seaweed Brain.” She gives him a final pitiful yet strangely grateful stare before leaving — and she doesn’t look back.

Heart pounding, Percy picks up the notebook and flips to the end until he sees a header that says “Read Percy” (or maybe it said “Dear, Percy”? Who knows?). It’s a few pages long, and there’s absolutely no way in hell he’ll be able to get through it. So, carefully, he rips out the papers and folds them up before slipping them into his pockets. Cool. His dead boyfriend wrote him a note. Cool, cool, cool. Cool. _Cool_.

—

A few days later, he’s thankfully back in New York. The letter gets shoved into his desk drawer, and Percy pretends like he doesn’t think about what it could say all damn day long. Books are spread across his desk, but he stares emptily at the drawer. He’s supposed to be studying or doing homework, but how could he be expected to do so? The stupid SAT and math class aren’t exactly his biggest worries in the world right now. Groaning, he puts his head into his hands and stays like that for a good five minutes.

Fuck, _fine_. Percy pulls open the drawer and slams the paper in front of him. Okay, he can do this. He can do this!

“Dear Percy, this isn’t your fault.”

Never mind. He can’t do this.

A knock comes at his door, and a moment later, his mom opens the door with her eyebrows knit with worry but her usual comforting smile on her lips. She’s so perfect. “How’s studying going?”

Well, might as well be honest. “It’s… not.” She nods her head. “Mom… mom, can I ask you something?” He must’ve sounded pretty pathetic, because she shuts the door and comes to him pretty quickly, kneeling on the ground next to him. “Uh… you remember Jason.”

Sally nods, and she’s already begun to soothingly run her hand up and down his arm. “Of course, baby. What happened?”

“Nothing! Well, nothing… new. He’s still dead.” He wishes saying it out loud would be funny and not cueing him to want to cry again. “First- first of all, I… before he- you know, we were— we were dating.” Her eyes widen and she bursts into a smile, then it converts to a pitiful wince. Luckily, he cuts her off before she can say anything about being not straight and having a dead boyfriend. “A- and he wrote me this note, but I- I don’t think I can…” Percy swallows and rubs his eye. “Can you read it to me?” Saying it out loud makes him feel like a five year old asking for a bedtime story, but his mom only smiles and gently takes the paper from the desk. She kisses his forehead.

“I’ll do my best,” she humbly responds. “You sure you want me to?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Sally’s smile grows warmer, and she cups his face with her spare hand. “Dear Percy, this isn’t your fault. I know you have a habit of thinking things are your fault, but they aren’t. If you’re reading this, then the prophecy has come to pass. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do a lot of things in our relationship, and I understand if you’re mad at me. I know I promised not to go anywhere, but I moved to California, and now I’m dead.” Blunt motherfucker. So he knew. “I’ll wait for you and our friends, but you better take your sweet time, Jackson, and you better not stop living on my account.” Percy laughs a little, but it doesn’t stop the tears from piling up in his eyes. “I hope I got around to saying this, but I love you. I love you so much. You’re not as big of a failure as you think you are, even if you do stink at math. You’ll go on and do great things -- greater things than anything any demigod did for the gods or for themselves. You’re greater than that. You’re even greater than me and us. One day, I know you’ll see that, and I know you’ll have great friends on your side. One day, you’ll tell me all about it too, won’t you?”

Okay, that gets to him. He puts a hand over his mouth as tears spill over, but his mom’s comforting touch is there to keep him grounded.

“All of the shrines started with you, Percy, whether or not you like to admit it. I hope you and Annabeth continue the work, but don’t let her do it all on her own. She doesn’t hate you, you know. How can anyone? You’re perfect.

“I’m sorry we didn’t have more time, but I enjoyed every moment with you. I don’t regret our relationship, but I do regret not being as obnoxious as we could have been about it. I’m dating Percy freakin’ Jackson. You can imagine how I’d like to fly up into the skies and scream about it. I also would like to fly up and kiss you, but you are _way_ too fidgety in the air. As long as I get to kiss you, I don’t care where it is. I hope I get to kiss you after writing this, but if I don’t...

“Eventually, I hope you move on. We’re young, Percy, there’s no need to shut down forever waiting for me. All I want is your happiness and our friends’. I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re studying for those stupid tests, and I hope you have a good dinner. Just don’t forget to shower, because you really stink sometimes. Don’t do too many stupid things without me or anyone with some more common sense. Be well. I’m sorry, too. I love you, man.”

Sally stops and puts the papers back on the desk. Her eyes meet Percy’s, and she’s entirely serious and almost stern. “Percy…”

Percy’s squeezing his wrist tightly in an attempt to divert the pain, but it’s no use. The agony in his chest makes him borderline pant and he curls up, hugging himself, and giving into the suffocating grief. His mother holds his head close to his chest. “You’ll be okay,” she assures him. He holds onto her, and he wishes he could believe her. “It’ll hurt for a while, maybe even get to you randomly, but you’ll be okay. I promise.” She kisses the top of his head comfortingly.

“I should’ve told him,” he mumbles into his chest. “I should’ve told him.” She doesn’t ask, and he’s almost grateful for it.

“Oh, honey, I’m sure he knew,” she replies comfortingly. He wishes he believed her.


End file.
